Dear Heavenly Father,
When I am afraid, I will trust in you. It is a song I sing to children at Sunday School. Today, my heart quietly sings it because it needs reassurance that God is in control. This is not the time for questions. I believe I have quizzed you long enough. What exists within me is a quiet acceptance of my life and my future, knowing it is rooted in your hands no matter how it does not seem so. I am thankful for Psalm 131 because it expresses this quiet acceptance more eloquently. I am a weaned child who does not concern herself with matters too great.
I am thankful for the path you have set before me. Indeed, I am grateful for the lessons learnt from all the twists and turns. All that has troubled my spirit in the past about my life and circumstances has turned out to be what has made me who I am. These things have shaped me to see the world with an uncommon perspective, and have developed in me the capacity to care about certain issues. I may not be a person with thousands of people watching my every move or listening to all I have to say. I may not be popular or influential, but following your footsteps has convicted me of many things. I know I look stupid, ambitionless, and seemingly lacking zeal, but that’s ok. In the end, what matters is being in your will and not ticking boxes of achievements attained at or before a certain age. I want my life to count for something, but I am unwilling to contradict my convictions. If it means the whole world would carry on without me, then that’s alright. If I seem stiff and rigid because of this staunch belief in my sacred convictions, then that’s ok.
The bottom line is that I have no qualms with you even though the concerns of those who love me have tempted me to curse you and die. Like Job said, I ask my soul, “Shall we receive good from God and shall we not receive evil?” Again, I affirm, “Naked I came from my mother’s womb and naked I shall return. The Lord gives, and the Lord has taken away. Blessed be the name of the Lord.” Amen.
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