Dear Heavenly Father,
Today, on my way back from work, I heard my heart singing Solomon Lange’s Yesu Masoyina. I was initially taken aback because I hadn’t listened to the song for quite a while. When I paid attention to the part my heart sang, I felt deep comfort:
“Yesu mai jin adu’a, kai ka share hawaye; Yesu mai fansa, kai ne makiyayi na; Yesu mai mulki, babu kamar ka. Ni bazanji tsoro ba, kana tare dani. Ba zaka yashe niba, ni bazanji tsoro ba…”
How pleasant it is to finally be attuned to what my heart has known all along. I confess that blaming you, complaining and just being utterly pouty has been my default stance. However, today, my heart has jolted me back to reality. However, I must admit that my heart cannot take full credit for it. It is more the work of the Holy Spirit.
I also read Psalm 106 today. It recounts Israel’s forgetfulness and your eternal memory. You never forget anything, except our sins when we ask for forgiveness. Recounting the story of Israel is as good as recounting my own story. I am as forgetful as they were. How many times have I deigned to forget your wondrous works and blotted from my memory your steadfast love? Countless! Even when you redeemed me from the enemy and his snares, my praise was only short-lived. I am guilty of not waiting for your counsel and putting you to the test with my wanton cravings. Even though I am created in your image, I’m guilty of exchanging your glory for the image of an ox. An ox that eats grass! I am guilty of serving idols that have become a snare to me. My relentless amnesia has caused me to forget you, Jesus, my Saviour, and run from pillar to post, from Egypt to Babylon, seeking salvation. I cannot count on my fingers the number of times I have lost faith in your promise and murmured and disobeyed. And instead of acknowledging that many times I have been brought low by my rebellion and iniquity, what did I do? I blamed you.
Nevertheless, you have heard my distress and wiped away my tears. For my sake, you have remembered what you promised me in Romans eight verse thirty-eight and thirty-nine:
For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. ESV
Thank you for your ever-faithfulness. You are faithful in the big things and the small things of my life. You care about my purpose and about providing in bulk and for free the kind of bathing sponge I like! You know what I am thinking, what I am feeling. You know all my hopes, doubts and dreams. You created the Sun, the Moon, Orion, the Little Bear, Pleiades, Canis Major and the other constellations. You keep the whole world spinning, and yet you know my name and have called me yours.
I see the reason why you commanded Israel to ‘Remember’. The word is repeated about sixteen times in Deuteronomy, a book about remembrance. You want me to remember because I am prone to forget. I wish I could say I would never forget how you continually saved me with an outstretched arm, but I would be lying. I do not have the capacity. So, I implore you, Lord, to help me remember by your Spirit. I pray also that when your Spirit calls things to my remembrance, my heart is open to receive and heed. That is the only way I can be a better child, Lord. Help me to be a better child. Amen.
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